I have tried to meditate many times over the years. The usual sitting in a quiet place either on the floor with my legs crossed and my hands on my knees in the traditional meditation pose or sitting on a chair to maintain good posture. Have even tried laying down to minimize thinking about my body posture. It does not matter the pose or position, my mind still runs away parading a ticker tape of thoughts, words, pictures across my brain.
I know every one says you must "calm your mind", "follow your breath". Really? What does that really mean? All I wind up doing is criticizing myself for not being able to do this for even 5 minutes. I get frustrated - Not, relaxed and focused. I walk away feeling worse about myself for not being able to just BE. I have read many philosophical books on the subject and still no help or what I consider a logical explanation as to the real benefits of meditation, how, why and what actually is occurring in the body as a result of meditation.
I came across an article in the NYTimes by a neuroanatomist. He basically said as you breathe in you are stimulating the sympathetic nervous system and when you breathe out you are engaging the parasympathetic nervous system. Why is this important you might ask? The sympathetic nervous system keeps us in a state of fright and flight, ready for action, high cortisol levels. This stresses every system in our bodies as they are on guard and prepared to take action at any moment. On the other hand, the parasympathetic nervous system is about rest and digest. This state allows us to take in information, process it and respond appropriately without the adrenaline rush or cortisol spikes. So, your breath out should be twice as long as your breath in to activate and achieve more parasympathetic tone in the body.
Another study talked about how putting yourself into a more parasympathetic state several times a day is more helpful for your heart health than a rigorous aerobic workout. It is the low part of the aerobic workout, the time after you push yourself to the limit that is the most beneficial. The lower intensity time of interval training is what is teaching your body and heart to function in parasympathetics. Imagine that.
Back to mediation. So, how does one ignore or get past the ticker tape of information running trough your mind as you are attempting to meditate? Dr. Daniel Siegel MD in his book Mindsight used the analogy of a wheel to get his point across. He says that the hub of the wheel is where you want your focus to be and as your mind drifts outward to the rim of the wheel you must bring you attention back to the hub. It is not about quieting your mind!!!!! It is about learning how to focus, even in the light of distractions!!! This was a brilliant concept and finally one that made sense to me.
In a conversation with my sister I had a flash of insight on this subject that seemed to pull it all together for me and hopefully others as well.
During meditation we sit in a chair, on the ground, or lay down so that we have contact with our bodies on a surface. This contact keeps us grounded and we can use the pressure we feel of that surface to our bodies as a place to bring our attention back to when we start to become distracted by the ticker tape in our mind. We practice our breath to increase our parasympathetics and decrease the sympathetics. We can also use our breath as another cue that we can bring our focus back to when our minds start to be distracted. Again, this is never about quieting our mind!!! This is about learning to have control over what we think about. What we allow our attention to be drawn to.
So, here is a story I came up with to explain the process of mediation when I was talking to my sister....
Think of the center of the wheel, the hub as the place where you are feeling your body against a surface or the sound of your breath. This is a real, tangible feeling that you can always come back to. Maybe even think of yourself as sitting on a rock. As we know, that is not a comfortable place to sit and we usually are very aware of it pressing into our body. We are breathing and can hear our breath as the air passes in and out of our nostrils or mouth. Great so far. We think yeah, I can do this! Then the fairies start to dance around the rock. Fairies can symbolize the distractions that start to surface and run across your mind. These distractions can be words, pictures, to do lists.... Now, these fairies can be very distracting. They can be wearing bold colors, jumping up and down to gain your attention, even calling out to you. This is where you must draw your attention back to that rock where it is pressing into your buttock or the sound of your breath. Let the fairies dance around. You have no control over them. What you do have control over is where you focus your attention. And that is now on you and the present moment. Sure, you will keep taking a peek out to see what the fairies are doing next (they are cute little things and very entertaining) however, bring your attention back to your rock and your breath. You did it - you meditated.
This is what we must do in real day to day life. This practice of meditation enables us to filter or block out distractions and remain in a more parasympathetic state that is not dominated by reactivity, flight and fright but rather a state where we can make clear decisions and appropriate reactions.
I find this to be a much better way of mediation rather than criticizing myself for not being able to tame my mind.
